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Author Topic: When Haunted by Poems  (Read 3352 times)

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Richard

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When Haunted by Poems
« on: April 01, 2009, 11:17:18 PM »
Your eyes jolt open. “It’s so late,”
she whispers. Rubbing one eye
you can see that she is mangled. Half there
her car-wrecked apparition
floats beside your bed in a sliver of moonlight.

This is the first stanza of one of mine, I've always wondered how someone else would have written it, please take it somewhere.

tweetsworth

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Re: When Haunted by Poems
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2009, 06:17:26 AM »
A sliver of life.

Hanging there, suspended by
subconscious. "Late" echoes
echoes
and you feel at peace;
echoes
and you know the reckoning
time has come.
"I'm sorry" you utter, "I'm ready..."

Waking is almost a disappointment...



[The images in that opening stanza are great - I hope you feel that I have come close to doing it justice! WT]

mypoeticheart

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Re: When Haunted by Poems
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2009, 02:49:09 AM »
A tremble within yourself,
though warm,
reaching out to the apparition
quickly fading into the night,
as a tear falls, calling out to her
from deep inside
the thought inside your mind
that she may still be there,
she may stay,
for but one more night,
at least within your mind.
Again she whispers,
"its okay" You open your eyes,
reach over to turn off the lamp.

Richard

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Re: When Haunted by Poems
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2009, 07:54:08 AM »
I like this, very cool! I like the image of the lamp at the end. Here's the poem (original) as a video if you want to watch and read. http://www.everywritersresource.com/writingsense/?p=191

Anyway, I think I'll add another one of these, hmmmm