Writer’s Checklist for the Zombie Apocalypse!
In light of recent events I thought I would give my suggestions on what writers should do to prepare for and during the coming zombie apocalypse. I feel writers will deal with the coming scourge differently than many normal everyday people. For writers the attack of mindless flesh eaters is really more of a chance to get away from the decaying world and back to the basics of writing. If you are a writer, this checklist is for you:
You will need something to write with. Computers are out, of course. They will be giant paperweights, and some people might think it’s a good idea to get an antique typewriter. I wouldn’t go that direction. Those things are heavy and sure to slow you down when you are running from a mindless hoard. I’m going with a pen or pencil. I like the pencil best being that you know when it will run out. You can sharpen it with a knife until it’s done. These do not make good weapons at all, so always keep them in your bag. Also if you are one of those writers who say that you can only write on your computer, let the zombies eat you. It’ll be easier.
A book bag!
This is every writers must have. Find a good book bag. Make sure that you have one that is double strap and fits tight. This way when you run it doesn’t bounce all over. Keep it light! Many a great writers will be eaten due to over stuffing their book bags. Resist the urge!
Get a few really good notebooks. Try to get them light weight so college ruled is best (more words on each page).
You need some freezer bags to put the notebooks in so if you get wet, your work stays dry!
2 Paperback Books
A couple of your favorite author’s paperback books! Try to go as light weight as possible. 1 or 2 max. This will be difficult.
Anything in a wrapper. You going to be sitting and snacking most of the time, maybe on the run, so go with high nutrition, light weight. Just buy the same things you eat now while writing, but they have to be healthy instead of candy bars.
Get a bottle of something strong! Think Raymond Carver. Vodka is your best bet. It will be ok for injuries, and ok for dealing with things at the beginning of the onslaught. Keep your head clear most of the time, but you might need a shot or two to get the literary inspiration in the middle of all the craziness.
Get a pack of candles. I would go with the longer broad base candles. You are looking for ones you can hold in your hand and read with or just set on the floor and they won’t fall over. Get a couple or a few of these at least. Also, candles are less bright and less noticeable than flashlights. DO NOT GET SCENTED CANDELS. I don’t know if the walking dead can smell…never thought about it, but don’t risk it.
You need a flashlight just for getting from one place to the other. Get a pen flashlight and use it sparingly.
Pack of disposable lighters.
Try to get at least 10 small lighters. You can’t write if you can’t see.
Aluminum Baseball bat.
This is for zombies and people you meet who use dangling participles. You want to keep the zombies at bay. Many recommend guns. I don’t think they will be of much help. A bat is easy, and helps you get away!
If you get a toothache in the zombie apocalypse, it’s game over.
Large Water bottle.
Writers are still human until bitten by a zombie….so you need water.
3 Favorite poems that will inspire you to keep going
Examples: The Wasteland, The Second Coming, I Heard a Fly Buzz OR Charge of the Light Brigade, something that will help you keep your hopes up…
Coffee at least 1/4 lbs ground.
Yep, you will need it.
First aid kit.
They always recommend a first aid kit, but I’m recommending this for a different reason. If you hurt or break a finger or cut your hand, your writing days might be over. So this is a must! If you hurt your leg or foot, go out into the street and let the zombies eat you.
I don’t know why you will need it, but something always comes up.
Yes you will need your favorite hoodie.
This is great for making a small tent out of while you are writing.
For when the lighters are all done.
Make sure it has a corkscrew and a can opener!
Writers I know can be a little antisocial at times, but a radio is always recommended, so I put it in here. Maybe you can listen in.
For boiling water.
A small portable stove.
This is nice to have until you learn the zombie patterns and can get out to where all the fires are burning.
Laminated map of your city and state.
If you have one of these you can keep notes in the novel you are writing about the zombie apocalypse. You wont have to go back later and do the research. “I was almost eaten at the corner of there and there…”
This is just in case you have to live on the run. I would say as a writer, from many of the writers I know, it would be best to simply stay put as long as possible.
It’s important for writers to prep for these kinds of things. So get all this stuff ready and put it in a closet somewhere. When the zombies are at your door grab it and go! Remember, keep writing, even if flesh-eating hoards are after you.