Escape From Samsara, The Last Life on Earth
Amy Williams
Author Bio
Amy Williams has recently published her first novel, reflecting her experience in the Hare Krishna movement and the encounters she had when she escaped the clutches of the cult and moved into the world of reconciliation. She writes from the heart, but has researched thoroughly the background of religious cults and compared her deep absorption in the world of sensual plesure. Amy is an avid sailor who sailed in the Santa Monica Bay in California for ten years and lived on her 33 foot yacht. She is a jazz enthusiast and a practicing bhakti yogini. She travels the world to visit famous cathedrals and art museums and has most recently returned from Spain where she visited Madrid, Barcelona and Avila, the pilgrimage place where St. Teresa attained union with god and levitated in ecstasy.
Description
Escape From Samsara, The Last Life on Earth
The story begins in 1972 as Amy, 23 and her husband, Rusty, 25 have just spent the night tripping on Purple Haze with their friends, Sandy and Jim. That night, or morning, as Amy tried to sleep, she was seeing bright colors bursting in her mind like fireworks. All she wanted to do was go to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come, so she thought to herself, If this is what you want for me God, then go ahead and do whatever you like! I give up trying to control it!. And that’s when it happened. . . .
Astonishingly, she remembered her last death and her vivid rebirth experience!
And she knew it was real! The problem was, that she promised she would do something while she was in the womb. “Please,” she begged, “please let me out of here and this time I’ll do it!” But when she was born, she lost the memory of her promise as illusion took hold of her fragile mind. When she awoke from her experience she was still clueless as to what promise she had made and she was in shock!
The months flew by as she asked everyone she knew if they knew the answer to what the soul promises in the womb and most of her friends thought she was going off the deep end. In September of the same year she went to a huge rock festival in Illinois with her husband and a few friends where she met Richard, who was sitting in a tree looking down at her. After the festival, she took off with Richard to the Hare Krishna Farm in West Virginia where she met an Indian guru, then returned home to Alabama. After two weeks, she visited the Krishna temple in Atlanta, GA where she was told Exactly what she had remembered in the womb. Frightened and disillusioned by the source of her answer, she nonetheless decided to join the Hare Krishnas only to discover that she was in the middle of a dangerous cult.
In addition to the ecstasy she felt, Amy was horrified at the events occurring around her daily with fraud, prostitution, bigamy and other atrocious acts. She studied the characteristics of a cult and described them vividly in relation to the Hare Krishna cult and finally realized that the only way she would ever get out of the cult would be to Escape! Her escape was both dramatic and comical, as she hitch-hiked to North Carolina where she began to reconcile her desire for extreme sensual gratification and the desire for spiritual truth. Through everything, she never forgets the promise she made in the womb as she experiences seven long-term relationships, each with its own lesson. Her last relationship was with a sociopath, where she enjoyed sex three times a day and sailing three times a week. But she also learned the greatest spiritual and material lesson of her life.
She finally retires to India, travels and tells many stories about the culture and her experiences there. She discovers a truth which obliterates a certain conclusion of the Hare Krishna Cult and shocks everyone around her. Finally, being completely exhausted by the Indian culture, she takes a long holiday to go sailing in the caribbean where she leaves her body in Barbados and meets the love of her life at a large gathering on the beach. She discovers her true spiritual identity and is in pure bliss and ecstasy as she looks down to see herself dressed in a multi-colored, sparkling sheer gopi dress decorated with crystals and pearls as tiny white jasmine flowers and miniature pink and yellow lilies encircle her head. She looks back to see her body lying on the beach with a smile on its face as she listens to the amazing story being told in the assembly about Krishna’s glorious birth. Gradually, she forgets that she ever had a material existence and drifts from one amazing story to another.
Book excerpt
I had to escape, remember? I was in a cult and was not allowed to leave with any dignity. I was controlled and told if I wanted to leave to ‘enjoy the material world,’ I was in maya (illusion). Friends, leaders, shit, everyone would try to talk you out of it, but I knew I had to leave. I was trapped in this society where I was working my ass off making $200 plus a day, turning the money over to others and losing my happiness, little by little.
Rumors were flying around about leaders who were taking the money and running. At first I thought it was their maya or illusion and they would suffer for their actions. (That was the cult talking in my head.) Then I began to resent it and resent that my hard earned dollars were going to some asshole. When I finally left I reserved only around $300 for myself, sewn into the waistband of my pants because I was going to hitch-hike, plus an additional $100 in my bag.
The morning came and my plan was firm. I was driving to Nashville, taking three other women with me, so I had the keys to the car. Under a collection of books and an old blanket in the trunk of the car I hid a tent, sleeping bag and a backpack with some clothes, toothbrush, etc packed away securely and I was ready to go.
I walked into the airport with the three other women, our book bags over our shoulders, ready to start distribution. As soon as we walked in, I gave the keys to the car to another devotee and said, “Here, can you hold the keys while I go to the bathroom and then maybe you can drive home?” “Sure,” she said, never thinking a thing about it. I just zipped out of her sight quickly and of course she never realized I was headed for the exit to the airport. I went straight to the car, having purposefully left it unlocked, grabbed my things and left. As I looked around, I remember thinking, “How was I going to get from the airport to the freeway to start hitch-hiking?” You know how airports usually have these long entry ways leading up the Departure/Arrival sites and after that was another long road leading to the freeway exit? Finally, I decided to take a cab. My heart started thumping and I could barely breathe as I realized I would have to go back to the entrance of the airport to get a cab and a devotee might be there looking for me. But why should they? So I took a deep breath and made my move. I got in the cab and asked the driver take me to the freeway. He kept asking where I was going and I said, “I’m not sure what exit it is. I’ll let you know when I see it.” After about two or three exits, I told the driver to pull over and let me out on the shoulder of the freeway, that I was going to hitch-hike from there. He was shocked, of course. He didn’t want to let me out on the freeway saying, “But miss, that would be very dangerous!” However, he took an exit and let me off at the top. I paid his fare and from there, I walked back down to the freeway and stuck out my thumb, scared of everything, but knowing I made the right decision. I was free at last! Was I going to hell? Probably, but what could I do?
It didn’t take long. I was cute and sexy, 26 and a half years old, and was immediately picked up by an older man in his red pickup. I was lucky. I could have been raped or worse, killed, but God must have been protecting me because I only met nice people along the way. And where did I plan to go? Honestly, I wasn’t sure exactly but was thinking about the mountains in North Carolina. I just knew I had to get the hell out of there. I didn’t want to go home to Alabama and hear the rants of my parents so what would I do? I think my reasoning was I would simply camp out for a while and be in solitude until I decided on my next move. I packed a map in my backpack and I headed towards the Appalachian Mountains.
I owned a really cool two-man tent and a good down sleeping bag I bought before I ever joined the Krishnas. I packed a small stove and one pot to cook in and also eat with. I spent the first night sleeping in someone’s front yard. Their home was actually across the street from a small campground where I planned to go, but there were guys camping there and drinking and before I knew it, they were knocking at my tent asking me to come out and play. So, frightened I said, “Sure, but hold on a minute I need to check with my friends who are across the street.” They weren’t suspicious, but I was still nervous. I went up to the door of the home and knocked. When they came to the door, I told them the situation and asked if I could put my tent in their yard close to their home. They agreed. They stood on the porch and watched as I went back to get my tent and made an excuse to the guys. “Don’t be a party pooper!” they said. But I was in no hurry to get raped and when people are drinking, well, you just never know what might happen, and I was already traumatized from the day’s adventure. At this time in my life I was getting pretty good at lying, lying to save my soul and lying to save my life, not lying to pump up my prestige, and I needed to rest that night, so I lied.
The next day I traveled from Tennessee to North Carolina and landed in a small town called West Jefferson, north of Boone where there was a university. There I met two cool guys who seemed totally harmless. They were at the store in town, loading up on beer and groceries as they were renting a cabin in the woods. Seemed their goal in life was to stay drunk and stoned. I didn’t care. They invited me to stay and I felt rescued from the hell I had just escaped!
In the front yard of the cabin were two huge cherry trees. Down the hill to the right was a nice hippie couple who came to the mountains on the weekends. Up the hill was an older guy who was an amazing artist and he grew beautiful flowers, marigolds, purple petunias, fuchsia, climbing vines, pink honeysuckle and huge marijuana plants. They also heated and cooked with wood, living simply off the land with a full garden of peas, tomatoes, zucchini squash, onions and rhubarb for pie.
Life changed after that. It was sweet and simple. I got hooked up with one of the guys, a sweet ex-Viet Nam serviceman and relaxed into their lifestyle of pot, nature, herbs, organic vegetables and natural healing. Hippies were all over the mountains in those days living the natural lifestyle, outdoor toilets, heating with wood, making lots of cherry pies from the loaded trees and smoking lots of pot.
Author Website
http://www.expatamy.com