Manizer
Laura Hamby
Author Bio
I am Writing For My Sanity (that’s the title of my blog, too!), what little I have left of it, at any rate!
I live in a constant state of chaos. We recently moved from the Big City to the Nice, Calm, Rural Town and our menagerie has grown from the dog, cat, and 2 tortoises to include 7 chickens, several chicks, fish, a rabbit and a pot bellied pig named Annie Oinkly. I have 3 teenaged sons, 1 husband, and a brother-in-law (plus his dog) doing their utmost to keep me busy. We enjoy movies, traveling, playing the tourist in our own backyard, and my menfolk would fish all the time if things like work and school didn’t get in the way. And I would let them fish all the time, too – because who doesn’t love fresh-caught fish?
In addition to writing, I love to read, do crafting – right now, I’m really into making fairy houses and accessories for a tabletop, indoor fairy garden, I love decorating birdhouses and I have a dollhouse. Through my writing, I have made friends worldwide – my best is located in Texas (and I’m not), I’ve very dear friends in Australia and Canada, and discovered I have a Swedish twin with whom I share a birthdate (but not the year). I’m very fond of bats and unicorns.
Writing romance and my chocolate addiction keep me sane. Okay. Sane-ish.
Description
“I’m Madeleine Jefferson-Brandt. There are a few important things to know about me. Firstly, never call me Maddy. Secondly, I have two fathers and I sprung from a surrogate mother. I have a crazy sister and a deaf cat, too. Don’t diss my family. Thirdly – I took an online quiz to see which Star Trek character I most resemble. Turns out I have the feminine version of Commander Riker’s womanizing personality – the capacity to be a playa. Who knew? So, what’s a nice, fairly pedestrian girl like me supposed to do? Become a Manizer, of course. Only, with Jude Brenner, I’m not sure I manized or was womanized – not that it matters one way or the other. We navigated a few tricky areas, like he exhibited some rather territorial tendencies towards me, among a few other minor obstacles. Oh, and I kinda like him. A lot.”
Come on into Madeleine’s life and meet her parents – Dad and Poppy; her sister – Mindy; fall in love with Snowball – the deaf kitty; discover life doesn’t always go as planned. Madeleine’s romance with Jude is central to this novella, from the unconventional, unintentional start to their romance; along a road with several bumps that include Mindy’s insane life, a chance meeting with one of Madeleine’s ex-boyfriends, and a not-so-chance meeting with Jude’s ex-girlfriend; to a more conventional happily ever after conclusion.
Fun facts about *Manizer:* The story was really born from an online, Facebook quiz I took to find out which Star Trek: Next Generation character I was – yes, my answer was Commander Riker, and yes, I was rather, well, appalled. I like Commander Riker, but the beard – um. No. Madeleine, the heroine, and Jude – her hero, jumped to life immediately as the quiz result and conversation on FB I had with a friend and her hubby just tickled the Muse into rolling up her sleeves and getting to work. Snowball the deaf kitty came from an acquaintance’s recent adoption of a deaf kitten.*Manizer* was terrific fun to write.
Book excerpt
Until I took that ‘Which Star Trek Character Are You?’ quiz, I had no idea who I was. But thanks to the results, I knew I was Will Riker. Number One. A womanizer. A playa.
Just one teeny little problem with that. He would’ve been a more appropriate answer had the question been ‘Which Star Trek Character Would You Most Like to Screw?’ I preferred men. Unlike my sister, Mindy. Mindy liked both men and women – and sometimes, at the same time – and I’m still very traumatized that she shared that with me. See, I’m a bit more pedestrian in my sexual escapades, a bit more conservative.
But!
Now armed with the knowledge that I had it in me to be a womanizer, or in my case, a manizer, I went retro for my theme song – Hall and Oates, Maneater – and decided to live up…or down…to the results of this silly Internet quiz. I, Madeleine (never call me ‘Maddy’) Jefferson-Brandt, intended to boldly go where no woman had gone before. Okay, where I, specifically, had never gone before. I was going to think with my vagina.
It seems a bit sexist and rude that men who love to love women are simply labeled ‘womanizers,’ while women who love to love men are labeled as ‘sluts’ and ‘whores.’ Vaginas are a lot like penises in that once you discover you have one and you like using it, you tend to want to use it a lot. Who wouldn’t? The only difference between men and women is men have outties while women have innies. Kinda like belly buttons.
So, my mad quest to become a manizer started rather ignobly. I told Mindy what I planned to do, and she immediately called Dad and Poppy on me. Kinda childish, if you ask me, considering she’s thirty-two and I’m twenty-nine, hardly teenagers who needed to tattle on one another to the parents. Dad and Poppy called me and offered to take me to brunch, knowing full well I’d fall for that. Who would say no to mimosas on someone else’s tab? There we sat, at the Brunch Chalet, brunching on Swedish crepes, fresh fruit, steak, eggs – the whole nine yards – enjoying our mimosas when, in mid-chew of the most wonderful steak you’ll ever eat, Dad said, “So, Mindy tells us you’re about to embark on a questionable sexual escapade.”
Poppy helpfully passed me his mimosa as I choked on my steak and coughed like I intended to expel a lung. After a few moments of hacking and wheezing, followed by draining his mimosa, I muttered, “When will I ever learn not to confide in Mindy?”
My parents laughed. Dad said, “Honey, we’re the last ones who’d discourage any journey you undertook, but we do have an obligation, as responsible parents, to say at appropriate times ‘are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind?’”
Author Website
http://laurahamby.webstarts.com/index.html