Thomas Cannon
Author Bio
Thomas Cannon grew up on a farm in Central Wisconsin and currently lives in Oshkosh with his wife. They have three children. His story about his son is the lead story in the anthology Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Autism. Each year he is part of the planning committee for the Lakefly Writers Conference and is cohost of a public access TV show called The Author Showcase.
Description
Who are the employees of St Jude’s Medical Center? You already know them. You work with them. Come take a madcap meeting with them anyway and see how and why they leave common sense behind as the new hospital administrator William Petty changes everything. He adjusts associated staffing levels (fires people) and increases workloads (sometimes for the fired people). He even limits Father Chuck to added-value duties.
In response, the employees begin to form bad habits and a union. However, no one handles the changes worse than Bigger, a kitchen worker with a belief that he is affected by invisibility rays. The worst thing he could ever imagine happens—his boss offers him a promotion.
All he has to do is betray his coworkers and help keep people from voting for the union.
He seeks out advice from his motley crew of friends: Dykes who tells every woman he sleeps with that he is lonely; Dan the audio/visual geek who organizes the union just to piss his wife off; and even Father Chuck who is so stunned that he must now bill patients for his prayers that he spends his days bitterly smoking in the designated area for oral nicotine worship, “The Butt Hutt.” The only person to give him good advice is his friend Joe who teaches him the Tao of Apathy. It’s a powerful tool, but will Bigger choose to use it?
Book excerpt
“The Company” and the board of trustees began to reconfigure every department and adjust all the employee’s work patterns. They decided that the best way to dramatize the streamlining was to unsimplify things with new names for the old departments. The Emergency Room was now Immediate Care Services. Because the Intensive Care Unit now had a similar sounding acronym, it was renamed Special and Overtly-critical Life Services (SOL). Additionally, the Nutritional Services Department became The Accredited Personnel Resources of Nutritional Services (APRONS); and the Central Supply department became the Axial Replenishment Requisition Center ARRC (often pronounced as a word with a soft C). Firing people was eliminated completely which sounded like a positive thing. However, the Calendar of Reduction of Associated Staffing was implemented.
Oddly, only management knew that people were no longer fired.
Yes, the first phase of the re-organization plan cut every part of the hospital’s daily operation without exception; except for the doctors, the department directors, their secretaries and the catered parties. In fact, some of the departments had been cut so much that new jobs with higher pay had to be created for middle management. At Janis’ level, though, they had only cut staff and increased job duties. Janis was thrilled to be thrust into poor working conditions and was not the least bit worried about being one of those nurses terminated. Unlike many of the nurses that had put many dedicated years of service, she had a great service record.
Janis kept her job because the layoffs were based on annual evaluations and jealous head nurses made sure to include the weaknesses of the top performing nurses in their P-files. They also knew if they told a dedicated nurse that she needed to improve her communications skills, she would, in fact, try. But if Janis’ supervisor put Janis’ weaknesses and unexcused absences on paper, she would have to fire Janis and firing a bad employee meant a big chance of getting someone worse. So when it came to reviewing personnel files to see who would be laid off, the best were gotten rid of first.
With the effort to cut down on wages, many were forced to work overtime. Everyone took on extra hours to fill the gaps caused by the reduction in staff and they still worked in fear of losing their jobs. The atmosphere in the hospital was tense and filled with mistrust.
In the past, Janis’ co-workers rarely talked to her because they had found her whinny, nasty, and critical. Now they began to follow her around for pointers on how to carp about their jobs. Like a small child on a sitcom, she began to originate catch phrases. Her best known was to refer to the new CEO and the board of directors as The Suicide Squad.
They counted on Janis’ rancor, now that it wasn’t directed at them.
Janis was short-listed to remain on staff. She celebrated that job security by rarely coming in to work.
Author Website
https://thomascannonblog.wordpress.com/