Grivante
Author Bio
Grivante writes sci-fi, fantasy, horror and post apocalyptic fiction. His writing style is most often referred to as Gonzo, Bizarro or just plain Weird.
He is best known for his Zee Brothers : Zombie Exterminator series, a comedic horror series that both celebrates and pokes fun at everything that makes zombie pop culture cool.
He loves things like George Romero’s “Of The Dead” movies and Robert Kirkman’s “The Walking Dead” and feels there are tons of authors telling those types of stories well. He’ll leave that type of story telling to them and keep focused on the weird gonzo-action filled tales he likes to write and his readers like to read!
Description
Orgasms, Chocolate & Zombies? Just an average day for Jonah, Judas & JJ.
The Zee Brothers have a strange and dangerous vocation. While some hunt rodents or pests in the dark, Jonah and Judas tackle much larger prey… Zombies. Equipped with a well-loved artillery gun, DeeDee, and a much used and somewhat abused pickup truck called Sasha, the duo clear the night of undead pests, keeping the ever present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse at bay.
When the slap happy pair receives an after hours call for extermination that ends in a gurgle, they head out, guns locked and catch pole loaded. It seems that an incredibly foolish developer built a high cost, gated community atop an old indian Reservation – a Reservation that soon became a graveyard and home to magic much older than the flimsy walled homes that tried to take over. Lost in this sea of new houses, an ancient artifact lay buried till the obnoxious Home Owners Association President disturbed it – and awakened the Zombies from their slumber to retrieve it.
Now it’s up to the Brothers to find it and lay the walking dead to rest. Along the way they meet the woman of their dreams, JJ, her magical and disco imbued dog, Xanadu, a denture wearing Zombie and a High Priest that offers a bit more danger than DeeDee can handle.
Filled with pop culture nods and heroes that just don’t know when to quit, it’s a slap happy, blood filled adventure, as the trio fights off zombies and the brothers fight each other for JJ’s affection.
If you like Ash Vs Evil Dead, Army of Darkness and Scooby Doo, you’ll want to buy this action packed romp and dive into The Zee Brother’s adventures today!
Book excerpt
Part I – Mr. Pembleton
“I’m sorry sir, it doesn’t appear to be a rodent problem.”
“What do you mean? Not rodents? All that scratching and scurrying all night long? What kind of bugs can be making that kind of racket?”
The man from the pest control company looked down and rubbed his name tag, ‘Burt’ with his right hand. “Sir, do you know if this area may have once been home to a graveyard?”
Mr. Pembleton’s brow furrowed. What kind of question was this? “Well, yeah, this whole area was once Pakatini tribal lands. My neighbor Shirley told me there are small family plots buried all over. Just last week, the Hembrooks over on Lancaster, dug up a pile of bones and some kind of am-let thingy. They threw it all out in the trash. Bones in their back yard. Can you believe it?”
Mr. Pembleton stopped there, a sparkle of realization dawning, “Wait, are you trying to tell me there are bones down there and a dog or some feral cat got in ‘em?”
Burt’s eyes widened at that. “Um, no Sir. From the way the earth is disturbed and the scratch marks on the floor joists and foundation, I would say you have a zombie infestation.”
Mr. Pembleton blinked twice. Rubbed his grey and black whiskered jaw and adjusted his false teeth, then asked, “How much is that gonna cost?”
“I don’t know Sir, we don’t handle zombies. We only make living things dead, not, um, dead things dead.”
“Who does then?”
Burt, sweating a little from his brow, broke his stance and started checking his pockets. “We, uh, technically aren’t suppose to recommend anyone, but, um, there are these brothers. They have a little side business and I’ve got their card here somewhere. With the apocalypse coming there’s been more and more of a need for their services.” He was now flipping through his wallet, his pockets having revealed nothing but lint and old cough drop wrappers. He ate them constantly to keep the smell of the poisons he used from making his nose itch.
“Which apocalypse is that? Was it that Nostradumbass fella again? He predicted Hitler and the Obamanation of our country, or wait, I saw one on TV the other day that said George Clooney was the anti-christ and if he sees his reflection in the mirror at the Vatican—”
“Ah,” Burt pulled a tattered business card from his wallet and thrust it at Mr. Pembleton, interrupting his rant. “Here you go!”