There’s a Pattern Here & It Ain’t Glen Plaid
(how to get out of a bad relationship & get in good with yourself)
Laurie Frankel
Author Bio
Author, short-story writer and humorist, Laurie Frankel, knows pain is the root of all comedy and is thrilled her life is so damn funny. Her books include “I Wore a Thong for This?!” and “There’s a Pattern Here & It Ain’t Glen Plaid” about which Kirkus Reviews has this to say: “…laugh-out-loud funny…great practical suggestions…A quirky, earnest guide to regaining self-esteem for the modern woman.” Frankel’s literary work has appeared in Shenandoah, The Literary Review, and The Pedestal Magazine to name a few journals. This former east coast gal, now residing on Planet OC, can be found saving the human race one love question at a time. Join the fun and visit her at email her at LauriesLoveLogic.
Description
“…laugh-out-loud funny…great practical suggestions…A quirky, earnest guide to regaining self-esteem for the modern woman.” — Kirkus Reviews
It’s not news many women lack healthy self esteem but most books’ approach to the topic are about as uplifting as a funeral dirge. “There’s a Pattern Here & It AIn’t Glen Plaid” uses entertaining stories, analogies and useful tips to help readers identify a pattern of bad relationships and plan exit strategies before switching focus to boosting self-esteem and improving life.
Many women grow up looking for their security and sense of well being outside themselves, typically in a love relationship with a man. Man comes, self esteem comes—these women are walking on sunshine. Man goes, literally or figuratively, self esteem goes—these women are walking where the sun don’t shine. Because a strong sense of self is never internalized, this cycle of searching for and losing the man who can supposedly ground them, is endless. My book helps women break the cycle.
Book excerpt
Read this book if:
-You or a “friend” (wink) are in a crappy relationship,
-You just got out of a crappy relationship,
-For reasons unrelated to anyone/thing in particular, you just feel crappy about yourself.
I include the last line above because it refers to a relationship as well—the one you have with yourself—which, depending how it’s going, can be directly responsible for items one and two. Rest assured, as long as there’s something lousy going on, you’ve come to the right place.
Just so we’re clear: What is a crappy relationship exactly?
Quite plainly, are you happy? Not jump-around-like-a-lobotomized-idiot happy but generally content with the state of your union? Do you feel respected, supported and loved? Great, stop reading and proceed into the sunset. If, on the other hand, you feel neither respected, supported nor loved then you, my dear, are part of The Club. Read on.
NOTE: If your mate beats you, your children or the dog, that’s an abusive relationship—get out now, seriously. Search the internet for a social service agency near you (key words: “women’s shelter” and your city).
And if you’re still not crystal clear, for the purposes of this book an unacceptable relationship is one in which you are:
-Denigrated and/or
-Treated disrespectfully and/or
-Talked to disparagingly and/or
-Cheated on and/or
-Completely and utterly dependent like an iron-deficient woman in a Jane Austen novel, as in if you had a fainting couch you would go faint on it. Right. Now.
This book is not about saving rocky relationships. Say, for whatever reasons, the two of you make each other’s existence a living hell, but it’s an equal partnership, a 50/50 joint venture. That’s nice, but save it for Masochists Anonymous, because I’m not interested. In fact, I’m not the least bit interested in the other person in your relationship. I am only interested in you and your relationship with yourself.
Relationship with yourself. Wha? Huh? Sounds a bit new agey, doesn’t it? You’re bracing for the patchouli, right? Well, don’t. Instead, think of it like this: Pretend you are on a boat at sea. All the people in your life are on separate boats out at sea with you. Everyone’s having a great time riding the waves, enjoying the ocean air. Life is good except you’ve allowed one of the other boats to keep your anchor, (the thing that allows you to be grounded, get it?)—great idea as long as the weather cooperates and everyone is on the same course, but what happens when a squall comes up, out of nowhere, as squalls do? You need to drop anchor to ride out the storm but, oops, your anchor is on another boat and that boat is incommunicado. There you are, tossed at sea, headed God knows where, pissed off at the boat that has the anchor. But you gave that boat your anchor. What were you thinking?