![\"Self](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.everywritersresource.com\/selfpublished\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/cover2.jpg?resize=333%2C499\" "\\"Self")
Author<\/h2>\nAllen Galbraith<\/p>\n
Allen is a 40 something guy with a passion for no nonsense self help. His writing is from his life experiences and things he wish people had taught him 20 years ago!<\/p>\n
He currently lives with his wife and daughter in County Down, Northern Ireland.<\/p>\n
If you read this short e-book you will never have to read another self help book again. Ever!<\/p>\n
That is quite a claim but I have spent the best part of my adult life reading self help books and they all pretty much say the same thing. So I decided to distil all I have learnt from these books into this compact form.<\/p>\n
I really wish I had read a book like this 20 years ago! It would have saved me a lot of time AND a lot of money!<\/p>\n
Learn how to:<\/p>\n
Be a better person in all aspects of your life!<\/p>\n
Cope with change better!<\/p>\n
Look after your health!<\/p>\n
Deal with difficult people!<\/p>\n
Change the way you think!<\/p>\n
Deal with stress!<\/p>\n
Kick bad habits and much much more!<\/p>\n
The returns on the extremely small investment of purchasing this book, will pay you a hundred fold for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n
This short book will change your life and your reading habits forever! No more self help books needed!<\/p>\n
Self Created Obstacles to Change and How to Get Over Them<\/p>\n
When trying to develop or change yourself for the better, you may find some obstacles in your way. Now here is the thing. Some of those obstacles may have been put there by you. At least, that is what I have found.<\/p>\n
So what reasons do we have for putting obstacles in our own way when it comes to changing ourselves? That takes a little bit of self-analysis and a little bit of being honest with ourselves. To be honest it\u2019s usually easier to see the obstacles that other people put in their way than our own self created hurdles. Like when I hear someone say \u201cI just don\u2019t have time to exercise! I have this and this and that to do.\u201d it\u2019s easy to see that. When it comes to one\u2019s own self \u2013 well that is a different matter. It\u2019s hard to see ourselves objectively. So how do you start checking to see if you put obstacles in your own way \u2013 I hear you ask. Well here are three reasons that are important to address when it comes to obstacles to personal change.<\/p>\n
1) Secondary gains for staying the way we are.
\nPerhaps we get something from the way we are today – even though we think we want to change. Let us look an example. John has agoraphobia. It has developed over a period of time and now he is house bound. His wife loves him very much and she hates to see him this way and cares for him during his illness. John wants to change but at the same time doesn’t do the anything to help himself change. He doesn’t even try. A psychologist might say that John enjoys the attention he gets from having this condition or he enjoys being mothered and looked after. In psychology, this is called a secondary gain.
\nDo you have any secondary gains preventing you changing for the better? Ask yourself what is more important to you? Is this change worth more to you than the secondary gains?<\/p>\n
2) You have a fear of failure.
\nAgain let us use an example to help describe this self created obstacle. Peter hates his job. He feels lonely, isolated and the people he works with seem to be all self-serving rats in a rat race. Despite all this, his job is relatively secure and well paid. He has a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay. He feels secure. As time goes by his mental health begins to suffer – he starts to feel depressed and he has more arguments with his spouse. Yet he is afraid to change job. He is afraid of the unknown. He thinks the worst might happen i.e. that if he goes to another company he will not be able to do his job as well and he will get fired, he will lose his home and everything he ever worked for. He feels trapped.
\nLiving under this burden of fear is a terrible thing but it is a very easy state to find yourself in – especially in today’s society. Ask yourself if fear is stopping you from changing for the better. Ask yourself – is your mental health suffering from staying where you are now? Look at past experiences of change in your life – the last time you changed job, was it really that bad?<\/p>\n
3) You are letting perfectionism stop you from initiating action.
\nAre you waiting for the right moment to change? Are you waiting for the right conditions to change? Do you want to be able to do these new things perfectly and don’t want to start doing them until you feel you can do them perfectly? Remember things don’t have to be perfect for you to change NOW. Are you telling yourself “I will change job when I feel more settled in my home?” or “I want my C.V. to be perfect before applying for my DREAM job!” then you discover these PERFECT times never come and you have missed your opportunities? Stop and ask yourself has perfectionism stopped YOU from progressing.
\nSo again I hear you ask \u2013 \u201cOk, so I can identify that I am putting obstacles in my way, now what?\u201d
\nMy experiences have taught me this. You ANALYSE, ANALYSE, ANALYSE your thoughts and motivations!<\/p>\n
Here is how:
\n\u2022 Question your motives for NOT changing.
\n\u2022 What are your motives FOR changing?
\n\u2022 List out your life priorities.
\n\u2022 Take your time and work out what is important for you in this life and what you want to change?
\n\u2022 List out what things you have done right to reach your goals.
\n\u2022 Ask yourself WHY you haven’t changed?
\n\u2022 Pretend your are being interviewed by a hard hitting news person.
\n\u2022 Write out how the dialogue might go between you and the journalist. How would they question your answers?
\n\u2022 After the imaginary journalist has finished with you – do you have any valid reasons left for not changing?<\/p>\n
The main theme behind all this questioning is being honest with yourself. You may be surprised by how many obstacles YOU are putting in your way and once you realize this – it will become much easier to LEAP OVER THEM!<\/p>\n
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https:\/\/twitter.com\/wmalgal<\/a><\/p>\nBest place to buy your book<\/h2>\n