{"id":1668,"date":"2012-09-28T01:08:08","date_gmt":"2012-09-28T01:08:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/?p=1668"},"modified":"2017-10-28T04:15:12","modified_gmt":"2017-10-28T04:15:12","slug":"ernest-by-john-carson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/ernest-by-john-carson\/","title":{"rendered":"ERNEST by John Carson"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/h1>\n

ERNEST<\/h2>\n

by John Carson<\/p>\n

\n

Mom.<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

When you were in school did you ever read Hemingway?<\/p>\n

Read what?<\/p>\n

Hemingway. Did you ever read any stories by Ernest Hemingway?<\/p>\n

Yeah. I think so. Hand me the remote, please.<\/p>\n

We read this story called \u201cA Clean, Well-Lighted Place\u201d in English class.<\/p>\n

Oh.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about these two waiters in a caf\u00e9 in Spain.<\/p>\n

Did your father call today?<\/p>\n

Yeah. He said to tell you he\u2019ll have the check for you on Wednesday.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what he said last week.<\/p>\n

Anyway, this old man comes into the caf\u00e9 every night because he\u2019s lonely and just wants a place to be. And the young waiter wants to go home and gets mad at the old man because he won\u2019t leave. But the old waiter understands because he\u2019s lonely too.<\/p>\n

Have you seen my cigarettes?<\/p>\n

They were on the table before. The old waiter can\u2019t sleep at night because he\u2019s afraid. He recites the Lord\u2019s Prayer and replaces a lot of the words with \u201cnada.\u201d That\u2019s Spanish for \u201cnothing.\u201d Mr. Moore said the old waiter is afraid because he doesn\u2019t believe in God anymore so he thinks he\u2019s alone in the world.<\/p>\n

Sounds interesting. You didn\u2019t take my cigarettes, did you Becky?<\/p>\n

No. Do you believe in God?<\/p>\n

Of course I do.<\/p>\n

Then you don\u2019t think people are alone?<\/p>\n

No. Did the mail come yet?<\/p>\n

Not yet. Why do you think some people feel lonely and stop believing in God?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know. Oprah\u2019s gaining weight again.<\/p>\n

Yeah. Time for a new diet.<\/p>\n

Poor Oprah.<\/p>\n

Yeah. Your cigarettes are under the TV Guide.<\/p>\n

Thanks.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mom.<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

When you were in school did you ever read Hemingway?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[375],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-literary-story"],"aioseo_notices":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1668"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1668\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3619,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1668\/revisions\/3619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.everywritersresource.com\/shortstories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}