The Struggles and Growth of a Man

Author

Jamell Crouthers

Author Bio

A poet since the age of 13 who has a passion to write about experiences, life and social issues in society.

Description

A book about a young man named Robert who chronicles a poetic diary about his struggles through childhood of having a drug addicted mother and a deadbeat father. He is working his way through life learning a lot of rights and wrongs while being a role model to his younger brother. There’s one man who cared about him and his well-being, his guidance counselor Mr. Marble who molds him into a better man, is a role model to him and shows him a better way of life. Through the trials and tribulations of life, Robert chronicles his thoughts and experiences on various issues such as family, love, relationships, his neighborhood and growing into the man he wants to be. This book shows that men struggle in life and that sometimes we all need an ear to listen, a talk to clear our minds, a heart that is kind and warmth to comfort our souls. Robert finds a purpose in life for himself after the mistakes he’s made and he wants to prove to his family that the cycle of pain can be broken and that needing help and guidance from others doesn’t make him weak, it only makes him mentally stronger. A book that everyone will enjoy from beginning to end.

Book excerpt

Growing Up
I didn’t grow up the way I should have,
Technology has controlled every aspect of me.
Television taught me so much because mom wasn’t around,
Videogames drained my brain cells and have made me lazy.
I was once athletic and loved sports,
But depression took over and I no longer put effort into it.
My mom had me when she was young with an older man,
A teenage mom with a father in his 20s drug dealing.
I didn’t have much of role models to be honest,
But that’s another story for another time.
I don’t care to go outside most days and chill with friends,
Growing up into a man so early wasn’t part of my plans.
Here I am in my 20s, living with my mom still,
Somehow we are still in this apartment, I used to wonder how.
My mom has aged a lot because of the drug addiction she’s had,
Hoping and praying she makes it through a lot of nights.
I surely don’t want to wake up and she overdosed,
By the graces of hope and faith, she’ll eventually get it together.
I had toys as a kid, I didn’t play with them,
I cared about what was on my television instead of my toys.
Too busy watching music videos and watching movies I shouldn’t have seen,
Walking out of my door into a cold world, making adult decisions at age 7.
My childhood went goodbye when my dad left, my mom became depressed,
It was me and my little brother fighting to survive from day to day.
Some days I can go to my grandmother’s house to eat food,
And get a warm bed to sleep on for the night.
She was really aging herself, in her 80s as she had a lot of kids,
I have a few aunts and uncles who are spread out around the state.
I’d surely do my childhood all over again, too many bad memories,
My innocence was lost when police sirens showed up to my building one night.
The sound of gunshots rang through my hallway staircase,
A drug deal gone wrong, my homie died over money owed to someone.
I knew who it was and who shot my homie but there was neighborhood code,
Don’t cooperate with the police, snitches get stitches, sad mentality.
The police were here to solve a crime and here I was a teenager scared as hell,
Of the repercussions if I opened my mouth and talked.
Life in the ghetto, don’t know how to deal with it, it takes a toll,
Going to school and taking care and protecting my little brother.
He eventually made decisions on his own and ended up in the streets,
Incarceration or death waited for him and now he’s doing a few years in prison.
The feds were watching him so he’s far away in the middle of nowhere doing time,
No time to drive or take a flight to go see him so he gets letters.
I couldn’t write well for a long time, I speak with a lisp and I was illiterate,
I had to learn a lot of things on my own or have friends teach me.
Teachers passed me in school after so long,
Just so they can make their numbers and keep their jobs for next year.
Growing up, nope, didn’t get to do that really,
So parents, do what you’re supposed to and be there for your kids.
I love my mom to death but she really wasn’t there,
I’m her only son now, depression has deteriorated her mind, body and soul.
She was once a sex symbol in the neighborhood and had a modeling career ahead,
Life took a toll on her all of these years and her skin has diminished off of her face.
I find happiness in eating junk food, watching television and playing videogames,
I never ended up on drugs, I guess seeing my mom on it, I couldn’t bare doing it myself.
Growing up was hard for me, I somehow made it to where I am,
Trying to get my life together, it’s a battle one day at a time.

Author Website

http://aquarianpoet1.tumblr.com

Best place to buy your book

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CDK30VA?*Version*=1&*entries*=0