As Is
Author
Wendy Stenzel Oleston
Author Bio
Wendy Stenzel Oleston currently lives in Janesville, WI with her husband, Ryan, and their two children, Brett and Caroline. She is a very proud recovering alcoholic who thanks God everyday for the freedom she has found through Him. After taking an eight year hiatus from writing fiction, a new vision for her writing began in January 2014. That new vision was “Edgy” Christian fiction with a very specific goal: to give something of value to the world instead of taking something valuable away.
Wendy is also a digital designer and likes to run. She loves to travel and has been all over the world. She is a dynamic public speaker and welcomes any opportunity to share her life story with those willing to listen.
Description
“As Is” is a fictional story about an alcoholic-in-denial’s journey to healing and freedom through faith. The story is based on the author’s own personal experiences as a raging alcoholic who was able to break free with the help of support groups and God. So far, the reviews on Amazon have been incredible! While the story is Christian, it does contain some language and strong themes.
It is about a single mother by the name of Mara Shaw whose life has been extremely difficult from the time she was a child. One bad relationship after another has left her with no faith in anything, surely not God. Sexual dysfunction due to surviving a vicious rape seems to have completely destroyed her self-esteem. Infidelity has left her unable to trust in anyone, not even her own family or herself. The only man she thought could ever love her has written her off so she decides to start over in a new town after a humiliating suicide attempt. A new low-responsibility job as well as a promise to never allow anyone near her heart again leads her to believe she is safe from ever feeling pain again.
An unfortunate police stop lands her in court-ordered therapy where she meets a strange man in the elevator. Graydon Davidson is handsome and persistent but also quite quirky. Confusion over his real motives leads to curiosity and the need to win his favor becomes Mara’s internal goal. Slowly he begins to break down her walls to show her the truth of many things. While the truth is hard to accept, she also comes to realize, it is the key to her freedom. Will this gorgeous and compassionate stranger be the answer to all her dreams? Or will emerging ghosts from her past take over her life? Mara is faced with a choice that will change her circumstances forever.
The surprise ending will leave you completely stunned and breathless. Never has a book like this been written before. It will leave you thinking about life, love, loss, forgiveness and redemption for days if not weeks and will hopeful leave you a better person. It is truly one of a kind.
Book excerpt
CHAPTER 7
Dr. Garry Wills welcomed her into his office yet again. He had given her some homework at their last session. She hoped he wouldn’t remember.
“So, what’s new and exciting this week, Mara?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Did you do your homework?”
“No.”
He looked disappointed. “Why not?”
“I tried.” It was a partial lie. She had tried, but not for very long. “I couldn’t think of anything.”
Garry gave her a look of disbelief. “You mean to tell me you couldn’t think of one reason why you should be treated nicely by other people?”
She bit her lip.
“That’s kinda sad, Mara.”
She changed the subject. “I had a really strong memory surface the other night, and it made me want to shut down.”
“What do you mean ‘shut down’? What would you be shutting down?”
She hadn’t mentioned Graydon before now. “I met a guy and we’ve hung out a few times.”
“Okay. So you like him?”
She glared out the window. “He’s cute. He’s nice.”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you like him?”
“Nah … not really. No. I don’t think I want to see him again.”
“Is that what you mean by ‘shutting down’?”
She thought for a moment.
“What’s his name?”
“Graydon. He’s cute … and seems nice enough.”
“So why wouldn’t you want to see nice, cute Graydon again?” he challenged.
She shrugged. “Wyatt.”
“You lost me, Mara.”
“When Graydon left my house the other night, all I could think about was Wyatt. He was my first love. The first guy I had sex with, too.” She took a deep breath.
“Tell me about Wyatt.”
She smiled briefly as she remembered what he looked like, but the smile quickly faded. “I met Wyatt at a party the night I graduated from high school. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen. He had sandy blond hair and blue eyes … a washboard stomach. He was way out of my league, yet he came and asked me if I would go for a walk with him. It was probably the dress I had on. It was tight and short. I suppose I was asking for trouble.”
“Do you think the way a person dresses dictates how they are treated?”
“In most cases, yes.”
“What happened with Wyatt?”
“I went on the walk with him and it felt amazing. He was so cute and oh so nice and he kissed me right there in the middle of the street under the full moon. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I fell for him right then and there.” She leaned back on the couch. “I immediately broke up with the guy I was dating and started going out with Wyatt. We went everywhere together and had so much fun. I had only known him two weeks before I gave him my virginity. I was so stupid!”
“Why were you stupid?”
She rolled her eyes. “I was delusional. I had this plan to only sleep with one guy in my whole lifetime. That was how I was raised. One partner, one marriage, one God. I chose to sleep with Wyatt because I wanted to marry him and I thought if I slept with him …”
“He would marry you,” Garry finished for her.
“Exactly. Like I said … delusional.”
“Your theory was okay, just a little backwards. Marriage is supposed to come before the sex.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve always been a little backwards, I guess.” She smiled ruefully.
“What happened next?”
She sighed. “Everything was great for a while. The sex was good, I was in love, I thought he felt the same way. But then it all came to a crashing halt. He had a party but I couldn’t go because I had to work. I decided to surprise him in the morning, so I headed over there, excited to crawl into bed with him and have a little fun. But when I got up to his room, I found he wasn’t alone. My friend Shar was in bed with him and they were naked.” Mara rolled her eyes. “He came up with some story to try and convince me nothing happened, and even though I didn’t believe him, I went along with it just so I could preserve our relationship.”
“Why didn’t you break up with him like a normal person?”
“I loved him, or so I thought. I had slept with him, and according to the God I grew up knowing, I didn’t have an option. It was him or nothing. One sexual partner and that was it. Soon he was cheating all the time, sometimes with Shar, sometimes with other girls … anyone who would take their panties off for him. Finally I confronted him. His response was that it was my own fault for trusting a horny teenage boy. I broke up with him, but not because I wanted to. I did it for my pride’s sake. I felt like a laughing stock and a slut. I waited for him for a year, hoping he would come crawling back. He actually did a few times, but it never stuck. He just used me and then went on his way. It took a little time but I finally came to terms with the fact I had screwed up my eternity. I knew God could never forgive me for my sexual sin so why bother trying to be a good girl?”
“Do you still feel that way—that God will never forgive you?”
She laughed. “God … no I don’t really have time for God anymore. He abandoned me long ago.”
“Do you ever pray?”
“The last time I prayed was the night I tried to kill myself. I asked God to let me die in peace and He couldn’t even grant me that.”
Garry spoke seriously: “Maybe it wasn’t your time to die.”
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. The point is, no matter how cute or nice a guy seems, he is still a guy. Guys cheat. Guys lie. Guys break hearts. That’s why I don’t need one. My heart has been broken enough.”
“Are you talking about Graydon now?”
“No,” she protested.
“You said he was cute and nice … things you also said about Wyatt. Maybe that’s why you don’t want to see him again.”
“No, I don’t want to see him again because he’s full of shit. Nobody as cute as he is can be as nice as he is without there being some sort of catch. He is either pretending or he has an angle.”
“What if you’re wrong and he really is just a cute, nice guy?”
Mara frowned, looking Garry straight in the eye. “I don’t think I want to find out. Not if it means I have to chance even the slightest amount of pain. I truly don’t think my heart could take it.”
“Wow. Someone must have done a number on you.”
She snorted. “Someone? Try all of them.”
“All of them? You mean every guy you have ever let get close to you has done terrible things to you? I find that hard to believe.”
She thought for a moment. “I guess I’m a liar then.”
“No, I don’t think you’re a liar. I just think you might be embellishing.”
She crossed her arms. “I wish.”
“What is the worst thing a guy has done to you, Mara?”
Her eyes dropped to the floor and tears started to gather.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, trying to get her emotions under control.
“Sure it does. What has you trying so hard not to cry in front of me?”
She blinked back her tears and looked at him with anger in her eyes. “I was raped repeatedly by an Air Force sergeant when I was eighteen years old. Is that what you wanted to hear?” She was furious now, and didn’t want to be there for another minute. She stood up slowly.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I don’t need this shit,” she replied, walking over to the door even though their session wasn’t over. She paused before opening the door and said, “He was cute and nice too.” With that she left, slamming the door behind her.
Author Website
https://www.facebook.com/WriterWendyStenzelOleston?ref=hl
