The Virgin Memoirs
Author
Miah Gamati
Author Bio
Miah Gamati was born in Miami, Florida, growing up in Carol City (an urbanized subcity on the North West side of Miami). She now resides in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Her passion for writing began at a very early age when she looked to her journal for comfort, allowing her words to flow. For ten years she developed her skill as an Author in HBCU’s such as Florida A&M, Johnson C. Smith, and Clark Atlanta University. Her work can be seen in her titles “Free Myself”, a title that described her childhood and young adult life in poetic form. “The Virgin Memoirs”, an auto-biographical account of her life and how love, life, and friendships have been altered by the hauntings of her past. And upcoming titles, “The Strip Club Monologues” and “Bringing Sexy Back”.
Description
He was tall, dark, handsome, but more importantly, he was rich. She wasn’t looking for a man at the time, but if she was going to have one in her life, she wanted one who complimented her. She thought he loved her, just like all the many men in her past. Thinking he was different, although he was clearly the same as all the rest. Giving her heart to an NFL player, thinking it would be different than the time she gave her heart to the rapper, and the R&B singer, and the dope boy. They were all the same, and once again she was heartbroken. Doing everything different this time around, making sure not to open up too fast, yet still having the same ending. But why was she choosing them? Why was she falling for the same type of guys who never had longterm plans for her? Why was it all about sex? Was it the molestation in her childhood? The rape at thirteen? Getting pregnant at sixteen? What was it that led to years in the strip clubs, alcoholism, the men who tarnished her name, becoming a convicted felon, a side chick, and a woman scorned? What was the root of the problem, and when did it all begin?
The Virgin Memoirs is the journal of Miah Gamati, as she digs deep into her past to understand why she continues down the same destructive path, and her search to find freedom from the shackles of the industry and the men who dwell in it. Realizing in the end that men are not the answer to filling the void that was left in her long ago. It is a story of a little girl lost too soon, forced to grow into a woman that lived a life that most dream of – or so they think. What it looks like on the outside isn’t always what it is on the inside. Many fall victim to the dark side of the industry, and very few are able to overcome and share their story. The Virgin Memoirs is a chilling look at just how cold the hot scene can be, but more importantly, it is a journey to freedom and breaking away from the traps of abuse.
Book excerpt
After our love-making session, he went to take a shower. As he showered, I decided to be nosy and go through his things. Why I do the things I do, I’ll never know, but I did. My mother always said, “If you look hard enough, you’ll always find what you’re looking for.” I found exactly what I expected to find, and more. I stumbled across a sex tape that he had made with some chick that he told me was his cousin a couple of months before. I had seen a picture of her in his car and questioned who she was. I never thought twice about it because his demeanor said that I should believe him. I sat there, numb all over as I watched him do the same things to her that he had done to me. The video was still playing when he got out of the shower.
He opened the door with his towel wrapped around his waist and walked in on me watching him in heavy stroke with a basic bitch. I leaned back in his chair and bit on a pen he had sitting on his dresser. Water dripped down his chiseled chest and six-pack abs as he stood there watching it with me. I knew he saw me throwing daggers at him with my eyes. If looks could kill, he would have been twelve feet under.
He leaned against the dresser with a grin on his face like he had not a care in the world, like he was proud of his work of art. His smirk enraged me. He knew just how to push my buttons.
“You find what you were looking for?” he asked.
I lunged at him, ready to stab his ass with the pen I held. I didn’t care about his bad boy ways then. All I saw was red. “You lying, cheatin’, son of a bitch. I hate you. I fuckin’ hate you!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face.
He grabbed my arms and spun me around, holding me tightly from behind.
“Let me go!” I demanded.
He threw me onto the bed and leaned over me, forehead touching mine. “Calm yo’ ass down.”
He got up and fixed the towel around his waist and walked back over to his dresser, opened the drawer, and pulled out a roll of money. He threw the money at me, which I later counted to the amount of two thousand dollars, then said, “My pop always told me, never have more women than you can afford. Either you with me or you not.”
“Why can’t you just be honest, Stan?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You told me she was your cousin.”
He shrugged with his lips turned downward in a slight frown. “You sure I told you that? Or did I say she was family?”
“You fuck your kin?” I asked, a bit disgusted.
“Blood doesn’t make you family. Sometimes family can be those who have your back when nobody else does, feel me?”
“So when have I not had your fucking back, huh? You’re so full of shit,” I spat.
He licked his full lips and then shrugged. “I’ll be that. The question is, is you with me or is you not? You know I care for you. Always taking care of you. So what, I fucked another girl. You don’t know when it happened. Could have been months ago. Could have been last week. Could have been last night. Could have been last year, or before I even met you. Point being, you left me hanging for a minute. You always gettin’ mad and runnin’ off on your lil’ temper tantrums and shit. If I can let all that go then you can let everything go too. Now all I need to know is if you with me or not.”
By then, he had walked over to me, stood in front of me, and used his pointing finger to tilt my head up to look at him. Back then I was so stupid. So damn young, dumb, and full of cum. I never responded to his question. I just accepted the fact that I loved him and allowed my heart to do whatever it wanted, and what it wanted was Stan. I was dumb enough to stay, but smart enough to know that if I was going to stay, why complain, and if I was going to complain, why stay?
I swallowed the hurt and kept quiet. He got dressed. We went shopping at the mall and went to a really nice seafood restaurant that was popular in Palm Beach. He was confirmation that all men were liars, cheaters, and assholes. I never expected more from a man since. All men were just like my daddy. No matter how good or bad, in the church or outside of the church, loving or evil, they were all the same.
I ignored Stan’s cheating ways and did my best to just enjoy him, and it worked. Even though I kept us going then, we still eventually ended. A week had passed and I had no contact with him, no calls, no messages, no answering the door when I showed up at his house. I was worried and could only think the worst.
Another week passed and I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to take a drive back to Palm Beach to visit his mother and find out what was going on. When I got to his mother’s house, his cousin was sitting in the front yard.
“Where’s Stan?” I asked. “I haven’t heard from him in weeks.”
“Yeah, Stan got locked up. They caught him up the road.”
My heart stopped. I didn’t know what to say. I stumbled over my words for a little bit before mustering up the strength to get a sound out. “How long is he going to be in there? Do you think he’s going to be able to come home soon?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. His bond is set for a hundred thousand, secured. I’m sorry.”
“Okay, that’s not an issue right? He can just bail himself out.” I knew Stan had the money, so I didn’t understand what the hold up was.
“Ma, they seized everything. He ain’t got access to nothing. I’ll keep you in the loop if anything changes. But I doubt it.”
Just like that, my fairytale was over. I knew the lifestyle he lived could only result in him ending up either dead or in jail, but I never thought it would actually happen to him. He was too smooth for that.
All I could do on the way home was cry. This was a sudden change that I wasn’t ready for. Everything, in the blink of an eye, was different. Aside from the fact that my extra funds would stop, I was also faced with the fact that someone I actually cared about was gone, possibly forever.
Author Website
https://www.facebook.com/miahgamati
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