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Poem joke
« on: March 23, 2009, 12:09:29 AM »
Turn a joke into a poem. Example:

The Joke: Two Cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny?"

Clowns and Cannibals
My father tells me and my son a joke
that starts with two cannibals eating a clown.
I’m sure it is only funny to poets and old men
who are able to savor something slow, quiet,
and inevitable about the tragedy.

How did the clown come among these
painted-faced men? Was he parachuting
into the jungle to some remote birthday party?
A well-paid clown sought after like steak tartar.

Acquired by wealthy businessmen that never considered
the assignment dangerous. Did they know
the savages were out there? Conspiracy
quiet and waiting in the foliage with a camcorder?

Maybe the clown thought the tribal men
were of his own kind. Drifting in at 1000 feet
maybe he couldn’t distinguish their ceremonial
warrior attire from circus dress.

And the cannibals watching
this giant colorful bird descending
into their world. Haven’t we all wanted
to kill and eat something that is beautiful
by its nature but silly and clumsy in our surroundings?

So then there is the end. Two men
in white face paint and headdresses crouching
over a fallen peacock wondering
if they should have killed and eaten
something they knew so little about.

Its curly yellow, red, and blue hair being pushed back
from its white skin so far removed from us
we have to laugh at its death.
We know the scheme of things.

My son standing between us does not laugh.
Somehow lonesome he might know
what the clown could have been, and once was,
craving an uncomplicated and sweet joy.


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2009, 08:44:19 PM »
Dog Day Afternoon.

The priest was taking confession
to absolve in Jesus' name,
when in came, let's call him, Mr X,
to protect him from his shame.

He had some terrible sins to confess,
many a sordid crime,
he carnally enjoyed canines
and he did it all the time.

The priest was quite beside himself,
he got into a frightful lather,
said 'Mother of God how low can you stoop?'
and was told 'A corgi Father.'

Not really what you were after - I just poemised the joke. 
I think I might be onto something here though.
Hope it doesn't offend. 


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2009, 10:12:30 PM »
I think it's great, I think it is exactly what I was hoping for, and I hope it turns into something you can use.


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2009, 09:38:17 AM »
A Tea-Pot of Trouble

There was a family of gnomes
who loved drinking tea.
Slurping those antioxidants
filled them with tannin and glee.

But they all shared a stubbourness gene
that often caused them trouble,
and arguing about who should make the tea
made that problem double.

So they had a family meeting
and by the time they had adjourned
they'd decided the best way forward
was that they should all take turns.

They didn't write down the rota,
they memorised instead,
but they all had dreadful memories.
You can tell there'll be trouble ahead.

Now this family of gnomes,
made up of Father Gnome and Mother
and Gloria a teenage daughter gnome
that's three - there was no other.

Gloria had a boyfriend gnome
who rode a motorbike,
he didn't figure in the tea making plans
and his name was scruffy Mike.

Well as could have been expected
the rota went to pot,
whose turn it was to make the tea
was very soon forgot.

The argument raging on and on,
needed a solution found.
Said Dad, "Okay listen here's the plan,
nobody must make a sound.

"The very first gnome who makes a noise
will have to make the tea.
But I'm saying now, I'm promising
that gnome will not be me."

So it was agreed and there they sat
silent as you'd like,
it was easy to hear Gloria's boyfriend
arrive outside on his motorbike.

In came scruffy Mike
to see his Gloria Gnome
and found the entire family
sitting silently at home.

"Hello Gloria," Mike said to her
but his girlfriend made no reply.
Mike repeated,"Hello Gloria."
he looked her in the eye.

She met his gaze, said not a word
and his temper began to heat.
Mike turned to Mother Gnome
with a smile that was not too sweet.

"Mother Gnome, why is Gloria
ignoring me today?"
Mother Gnome smiled at scruffy Mike
not one word would she say.

"What the bleep is going on?"
Mike asked Father with a curse.
But Father Gnome did not reply
Mike's temper just got worse.

"Right," said Mike. "Here's what I'll do
to make you speak to me,
I'll have my way with your daughter, Gnome
on this table set for tea."

Father Gnome's mouth went into a line.
Mother Gnome's mouth went thin.
Gloria looked a bit concerned,
but none of them would give in.

No matter the provocation,
how bad it came to be,
those stubbourn gnomes
would not make a sound,
or they'd have to make the tea.

Mike carried out his promise
or to be more true his threat,
The Gnomes all looked extremely cross
but they weren't making noises yet.

By now Mike was in a fury
his temper knew no bounds,
He repeated his threat
now for Mother Gnome.
Still none of them made a sound.

When it was done and Mother Gnome
and Gloria sat back in their chairs,
looking a bit dishevelled
with slightly mussed up hair,
Mike decided he was giving up
and leaving perhaps for good,
so he went off to start his motorbike
to ride back to his home in the wood.

But he slipped as he tried to kick start the bike
and the pain he felt was keen,
he had a cut on his shin
so went back for some Vaseline.

Father Gnome heard Scruffy Mike's request
added one and one - to get three.
Decided that enough was enough and said
"I'll make the tea."

I stayed up late last night writing this one (2.30  :o ) and then 'tweaked it' when I got up today.
It's on my blog now with the other one I wrote earlier about the Priest - together with some explanatory blurb about where the original jokes came from.  Is it OK to add the links to the blog posts here?

Father Luke

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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2009, 04:25:46 AM »
The Joke: Why did the chicken cross the road? - To get to the other side.

The other side

Pecking at gravel in the dirt,
the chicken looked
up, and across, to
the other side of
the road.




The chicken crossed the road.

Then looked back
from where it had come.

Maybe I was wrong to cross
the road, The chicken thought.

Then he pecked a bit at some more gravel.


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2009, 04:31:59 AM »
You I always have had trouble getting people to post when it comes to poetry exercises, I really didn't think anyone would post to this one. Writers are strange people. They'll sit and write out a joke poem, but they won't cast a vote for best 90s sitcom. One reason I guess I think writers are just better people.

At any rate, these poems are very good.


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2009, 09:31:48 PM »
Banana-  that was awesome!


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2009, 06:00:06 PM »
Thanks jpd  :-*

Here's a poem I wrote a while back - I think it counts as a joke poem.

Over the Hill

He panted as they reached the peak,
his partner gave a happy squeak,
he didn't have the breath to speak
instead he simply stroked her cheek.

They were both hot and drenched in sweat
but they had not quite finished yet
There was more to give and more to get
to fulfil the purpose for which they'd met.

He made the effort to please her still
he was her Jack she was his Jill.
Even though he felt a trifle ill
and wondered if he ought to take a pill.

She passively waited as he let it fall,
engulfed in wetness cold and small,
after all just a little pail,
and very old and prone to fail.

Afterwards downwards he began to slip,
and couldn't stop his sudden trip,
He wished he'd just stayed home in bed,
and avoided cracking his poor head.

And that's the story of Jack and Jill
who set off one day to climb a hill,
and fill their pail with cool clear water,
were you thinking something that you shouldn't of oughter?  ;)


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Re: Poem joke
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2009, 06:13:46 PM »
A creative mind is usually a funny mind.   Well done.  I direct your attention to the "Newbies" post re: "Porn addiction..."   There is a poem there that started out as SPAM, but the material was too rich to let go.  It has become a continued-poem about the life of a spammer.  Feel free to jump in!