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Author Topic: I'm new and write a funny blog........  (Read 734 times)

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6boyzmom

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I'm new and write a funny blog........
« on: January 18, 2010, 01:35:57 AM »
about being a mom to 6 boys AND I'm an older mom! I just found this site and I'm really excited about it as I am trying to learn as much as I can. If any of you have time I'd like your opinion on one of my stories. Thank you for your time.


Dear Hartz,
I am writing this letter in regards to your Play City Hamster Cage. I suppose a play city for hamsters is a good idea , and would provide them hours of entertainment , IF they were ever actually in the cage long enough to be entertained. I purchased 4 of your cages , brought them home and put them together. (which I might add was not an easy task.) Upon completion , I put the hamsters in the cages and that's when the fun really began. First of all , the wheel attachment on the side: The hamster would have to weigh 50 pounds to be able to turn that wheel , in which case he would not fit inside the cage , so that is a useless attachment. As soon as they figured out that they couldn't turn the wheel , they carried all their cedar into it and made a bed. When they were bored with that , they took the wheel apart , thus creating a hole to escape through. Luckily I saw what was going on and caught them in the toy box. Put them back in the cage ,put the enclosed stopper in the hole and went to bed. I find I'm curious as to why you enclosed a stopper for the wheel hole. Did you know that the hamsters would take it off?

Anyway , next morning , checking on them , I find NO *AMN HAMSTERS IN THE CAGES! Do you know what this means? It means THEY ARE LOOSE IN MY HOUSE! I happen to be scared of them. If you wonder why I bought a bunch of hamsters and 4 cages if I was scared of them I will tell you. 3 cages and 6 hamsters were supposed to go home with my grandchildren. We were SUPPOSED to have 1 cage and 2 hamsters. IF they would stay in their cages , I would be able to handle 2 CAGED hamsters. I cannot handle 8 loose hamsters in my house.

How did they get out , you may ask? Well , I can't say for sure , as they didn't leave a note. But I can say for sure that they are gone, baby , gone. And they didn't eat each other as I have heard hamsters are prone to do , because if they had , there would have to be at least one really fat one left, know what I mean?

Of course the grandchildren were heartbroken , so there was nothing I could do but go buy more hamsters , but I made sure that they stayed in a shoebox until the kids took them home. All of the above mentioned hamsters are still at large , except one. He was apprehended at 4 a.m one morning , as I sat sleepless , and happened to see him creep under the dining room table. Where do you think the other 7 have gone to? I have not had much sleep since their escape , but I am still rational enough to know that after 2 weeks , I probably won't find them. Unless I smell something strange and follow my nose. Which I can tell you I am not looking forward to.

This is also greatly effecting my ..........umm.....relations with my husband. If he touches me in the dark at night , I jump out of the bed and run screaming from the room. I keep telling him it's the hamsters , but it is beginning to give him an inferiority complex , and I fear that he will have a middle age crisis soon. And I a nervous breakdown. Besides for the fact that he is still looking for the snake and now he has to worry about loose hamsters too , so he is not getting much sleep either. Which is making him late for work. I would hate for him to loose his job , because it would be on your company's head , I tell you.

Also , you state on your advertisement that the play city's wire bars promote plenty of fresh air and owner interaction. Pu-leeze. They are probably getting plenty of fresh air wherever they may be , but if I step on one in the middle of the night , the owner interaction is not gonna be pretty.

Anyway , I am writing this letter because I was not satisfied with the result of the phone call I made to your company. True , you offered to replace all of the cages or refund the money. I don't want the cages replaced. What am I gonna do , go buy some more hamsters and put them in your wonderful fresh air cages? Yea , right , like that's gonna happen. And I don't want the money. I want someone to come find these **&()&*^^**^^* hamsters. And I think it should be someone from your company. I think that if you had to fly someone to my house , and have them crawl around on their knees until the hamsters were apprehended , then maybe next time you made a cage you might put the frigging bars just a wee bit closer.

Now I know that this letter has been long winded , but you have to understand that I DON"T HAVE MUCH ELSE TO DO AS I SIT HERE ALL NIGHT AFRAID TO GO TO BED! And I am enclosing a bill. I don't expect you to pay it , but would like for you to see the damage that has been done.

Ibuprophen.........$6.00
electricity to keep all lights on at night.........$25.00 extra per month
Therapy....................$50.00 per hour
Therapy for my husband..........$50.00 per hour
extra coffee to be able to stay awake in the daytime..........$10.00
replacement of 6 hamsters for grandchildren.....................$72.00
aquarium for lone captured hamster to make sure he doesn't get out.................$10.00
The look on my husbands face when I told him all the hamsters were loose..................priceless

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nevergonnabuyanother*amnhamster
« Last Edit: January 18, 2010, 01:44:49 AM by 6boyzmom »

Richard

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Re: I'm new and write a funny blog........
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2010, 05:48:09 PM »
This is awesome and funny! :D