Christmas Poem Contest

10 thoughts on “Christmas Poem Contest”

1. clear cloudless night sky
   Star of Bethlehem above
   manger messenger

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2. Ribbons, Ornaments,
   and a room of broken toys.
   Precious, fleeting joys.

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3. Warm lights glowing still
   Pinecone odors fill the air
   Christ or Santa’s here

   Here to guide us through
   Another night full of prayer
   It’s always Christmas somewhere

   Be Bob a lu la
   and jingle bells rock the room
   Down comes the tree sudden boom

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4. Have you ever wondered how Krampus could know
   How bad you are every year and the sins you’ve sewn?
   For centuries, Krampus’ secrets have been whispered in legend.
   And they’re far worse than you’ve ever imagined.
   And I’ll tell you them now, but if you tell
   Krampus will come and drag you to Hell.

   At holiday time, your sins send me to you.
   I watch and report on all that you do.
   My job’s an assignment from Krampus himself.
   I am his helper, a demon elf.

   Upon my arrival to your office I’ll bring
   An ornament from Krampus, the Christmas Demon King.
   You must then mark me, give me a name.
   Like Bezaliel, Pazuzu, Baphomet, or Satan.
   Just don’t name me something stupid like Clayton.

   Though I may look cute and demure,
   I’ll cover your entire house in manure.
   Each night while you’re sleeping, to Krampus I’ll fly
   To the South Pole through the dark sky.
   Of course, Krampus magic helps me to be quick.
   I laugh with the demons and tell Krampus when you’re a dick.

   I’ll tell him you’ve been bad, I’ll tell him you’re rude.
   This news will make Krampus gobble you up like food.
   I’ll push and shove to find my way back.
   When I tell Krampus the news, he’ll stuff you in his sack.

   In the car, in the park, or even at school
   Krampus will know if you act a fool.

   But don’t try to look for me; I won’t be there.
   I’ll be under your bed, with your hairbrush, gathering your hair.
   A voodoo doll – I’ll make very quick.
   I’ll send it to Krampus so he knows who to make sick.

   I’ll show up at random; you don’t know what I’ll do.
   Maybe I’ll bring gifts, or maybe just poo.
   I’ll be lurking in doorways, in bathrooms, in shades.
   Maybe I’ll cut you with razor blades.
   You’ll never know where I’ll be.
   Once I’m summoned, you’ll never be free.

   There is one rule you must follow
   Or I’ll come back and stab you tomorrow.
   Please DO NOT TOUCH ME. IF YOU DO…
   Well, you DON’T WANT TO KNOW…

   I cannot speak to you, so says Krampus Claws.
   All in Heaven, Hell, and Earth, must bow to his laws.

   When you are evil, Krampus will punish you.
   But to be safe from the levels of hell in store, here’s what to do:
   Burn your tree, throw away your stockings.
   If you don’t, prepare for floggings.

   Next, write a note to Saint Nick himself.
   Tell him you’ve been visited by the Demon Elf on the Shelf.
   Write “I request no presents, only coal.”
   DO THIS NOW OR LOSE YOUR SOUL.

   If you follow my instructions, don’t despair.
   Your life – Krampus will spare.
   But, don’t be fooled and don’t get too relaxed.
   For Krampus comes every year – these are the facts.

   The night before Krampusmas, my job’s at an end.
   Now Krampus comes, be warned my friend.
   Do as I have said or you’ll never tell
   About another Christmas because you’ll be burning in Hell.

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5. I know it is old
   but truth be told, all I want
   for Christmas is you

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6. it is Christmas time
   no matter what road you take
   they all lead us home

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7. sparkling Christmas lights
   smiles on familiar faces
   all guiding me home

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8. Boxing Day morning
   deflecting disappointment
   “always wanted one”

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9. mother’s home cooked meals
   the trademark of every
   Christmas celebration

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10. There is a consensus there, Geoff Phillips you win!

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