Here are out Top 10 Horrible B-Horror Movies. I created this list a long time again, basically for fun, but you have to admire all of these for how truly bad they really are. I guess, for writers, they are a good example of what happens when the writing and everything else is bad. These are very entertaining movies and certainly worth a watch.
1. Rawhead Rex (1986)
Sadly one of the greatest horror writers of all time, Clive Barker, created this atrocity. Of course George Pavlou had only directed 1 film before this, and he only direct 1 film after this, so it is no big surprise that is was stink city. Here an Irish farmer makes a mistake and lets this thing out of its cave. Of course the thing has to go on a rampage and kill like everyone in the town. The movie has religious overtones that are really never brought to fruition. The best way to describe this low rate monster feature is “think of Pumpkin Head but less scary and on a smaller budget.” Once all the really good monsters were taken Ireland got this horrible incarnation of Frankenstein and the Wolfman having a demon child.
2. My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Well a hockey mask worked and so did a cheap William Shatner mask, so why not a gas mask and a mining helmet? A small mining town’s folk tale comes true and senseless life-loss follows. Basically this is Slumber Party Massacre for coal mining kids. The early 80s were about blood, gore, and finding a villain that hadn’t been done before. This movie fails on every front.
3. Mother’s Day (1980)
This is one of those camp+ rap+ bad guys get what’s coming to them movies. The movie was made long before the term “political correctness” came into being. Three young women end up in the forest with a family of crazies and just about everything bad you can think of with 3 young girls in the forest happens. The movie has a foretold creepy that shows up at the end, but honestly this movie is so brutal is it difficult to watch. The early 80s were alive with B-Horror films, and this goes over the top in senseless violence, blood, and female exploitation.
4. I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
The ultimate revenge story. A young writer is sexually assaulted time 4. She systematically hunts down her attackers and kills them. This movie is somewhat of a legend for almost being ban. Every B movie fan in the 80s heard how gruesome and violent this movie is. It’s low budget, low morals, and not worth the time. It does not live up to its mythic word-of-mouth. It makes our list like all these others, for being so, so bad.
5. Chopping Mall (1986)
If you are looking for a laughable horror film, the low budget Chopping Mall has everything you are looking for. Seven teenagers are trapped in a teched-out shopping mall. The night starts out fun until the robotic security guards begin to hunt them down. This movie includes a scene where one teenager has the misfortune of being shot between the eyes by the robot’s laser. Yes his head explodes like a sledge hitting a watermelon. It was all the rave in the mid-80s. This movie does it no better than any of the other b-horror film out at the time, but it does get points for the crappiest concept ever; a high-tech shopping mall in the mid 1980s what?
6. The Stuff (1985)
This movie has some good promos and got a lot of attention for what boiled down to be a bad inside out blob movie. Here some guys find some white “stuff” in the snow, taste it, and then market it. The white stuff turns out to be alive and mind-altering-controlling. This movie makes our list for having some of the worst high budget special effects ever. Some try to write this movie off as a cult favorite. No one likes this film.
7. Street Trash (1987)
Makes the list for being the worst idea for a horror movie ever. It is really more a gore movie than anything else, and to that it gets its only credit. This movie has a bad concept, bad plot, bad acting and bad, bad, bad winos. Basically the story goes, guy finds case of cheap alcohol “Viper” in his store, and he sells it for a dollar a bottle. Winos drink the stuff and are liquefied on contact. This movie, believe it or not, was promoted with a guy drinking viper on a toilet and being well, flushed.
8. Night of the Creeps (1986)
A party is brewing among a bunch of students. They are getting ready for their “formal” when a canister of “creeps” are launched from a spaceship. These little creatures look like mobile leeches. They are slippery and kinda quick. This plays to their advantage because they have to jump into their victims mouths just as they are screaming. What are the chances right? Well you’d be surprised how many times these little guys can pull this off. This movie bumps up against the “cult” status. Any time you decapitate a bad guy, who used to be your buddy, with a lawn mower, you deserve some respect. This movie makes our list for making leeches so scary and lucky.
9. Frankenhooker (1990)
So this movie might make it to cult status. It is also the one movie on our list that is not like the others, it is more comedy (we mean trying to be funny) than horror. The story goes like this, drop-out medical student loses his hot girlfriend in a lawnmower accident. He decides to use what he knows about medicine to bring her back. He kills hotties and collects their body parts. Only 2 things redeem this movie in anyway, first a fatal lawnmower accident, and second a guy giving himself lobotomies throughout the movie to deal with his guilt.
10. Basket Case (1982)
Dwayne has a secret in the basket. Well not really because if you look at any of the promos for this film you see that their is a little deformed monster in the basket, so the film makes the list partially for having the worst hidden monster promo ever. Guys if you want to keep the little guy a secret you can’t put him on the poster or on the VHS cover. Dwayne’s secret is of course (spoiler) his deformed monstrous twin brother who was removed from him at birth. The little guy is durable though for only being a shorttie with no legs and like 1 good arm. He really likes killing people, so Dwayne turns out to be an enabler rather than a killer, but hey when your twin looks all gross and deformed you kinda feel bad, you know.
